For years, the boy at the center of the sexual abuse scandal that shook the Boys Choir of Harlem was referred to only as "Student A" or "the choirboy victim."
Now he just wants to be called by his name, David Pinks.
Pinks, once held captive by shame and fear, no longer fears the abuse will "stain" or "taint" his manhood, and he wants other sexual abuse victims, especially boys and men, to talk openly about their own ordeals.
"I'm not afraid anymore because I know I didn't do anything wrong," Pinks said in an interview with The Associated Press. "That embarrassment and shame that were there — that demon is not going to hold me back. I'm able to speak out.
"There's a lot of other people out there going through the same situation I've been through and maybe even worse," he said. "They need that voice. I'll be that voice."
Even at 20 years old and 6 feet 2 inches tall, Pinks says he became "petrified" recently when he thought he spotted Frank Jones Jr., who sexually abused him starting at age 12. His heartbeat quickens whenever he smells the cologne or lotion his abuser wore.
"When I think of Jones I don't think of now," he says. "My mind is still when I was 12, 13. I still know how strong he is and what he's capable of."
Five years after Pinks' revelations, the choir he left also is struggling to recover. It once performed at the White House and Vatican and on the soundtracks of the films "Malcolm X" and "Glory."
Now with a reduced, mostly volunteer staff, the choir of 50 boys, which was evicted from its home, performs Saturday night at Jazz at Lincoln Center.
In 2001, when Pinks was 15, he told choir officials that he had been abused by Jones, who directed the choir's counseling and summer camp and chaperoned members on trips for more than two decades. But choir leaders — including founder and chief executive Walter Turnbull and his vice president and brother Horace Turnbull — did nothing, Pinks and investigators maintain.
Pinks then told his mother, who notified police. In late 2002, Jones was convicted of 24 counts of sexually abusing the student and sentenced to two years in prison.
In 2003, city investigators concluded that the Turnbulls "failed to report serious allegations of abuse" of Pinks by Jones. Moreover, the investigative report said, the Turnbulls continued to allow him to be near students.
Walter Turnbull, who remains chief conductor, called what happened to Pinks "very unfortunate."
"We have done over the years all the things that we could to make sure that we did the best thing, the right thing," said Turnbull, who said he has had no contact with Jones, now 56. "The regret that I have is that David felt he was not treated correctly."
Jones' attorney, Theodore Goldbergh, said his client still insists he did nothing wrong. The attorney said Jones was especially attentive to Pinks because the young man had a "strained" relationship with his family.
Jones, along with the Turnbulls, the city and others, now faces a civil lawsuit filed by Pinks. As for the choir, it is millions of dollars in debt and had to relocate to a Harlem church after the city evicted it from a public school.
Pinks said he wants to see the choir survive — but without Turnbull as its leader.
"I didn't want the choir to suffer," said Pinks, who spoke out publicly for the first time on "Nightline" in March. "It's not the choir; it was the leaders. Those are the people I went to. They're the people who turned a blind eye. They overlook what happened to me and most likely happened to other students."
Pinks stopped attending City College, where he was studying music, two semesters ago. He spends much of his time in his home studio in Harlem, focused on producing for rap and R&B artists.
Despite counseling, he still has nightmares in which Jones kills him, he said. Still, he said he won't allow such demons to hold him back.
"My main goal is to help other children who have this similar situation," said Pinks, who wants to someday start an organization for abused children.
"A lot of times we don't have anybody to talk to. If I can be the voice that they can relate to, that they can hear, that brings me a lot of joy."