Straight from keithboykin.com i had to post this wonderful story
Thumbing through HX magazine over the weekend, I made an unusual discovery about sex in the black gay community. It's not what you would expect. We've all heard the complaint that black gay men are underrepresented in the pages of the LGBT press. That rule has also applied to the weekly gay party guides like HX and Next in New York City, Metro Weekly in Washington and other magazines in other cities. But in some other ways, black gay men may actually be overrepresented, especially in terms of sex parties.
My inquiry began when I came across an article (p. 74) about a new porn video called "Black Cocks In White Jocks." Despite my initial inclination to dismiss the story as yet another example of the fetishization of black men, I was intrigued by the photo of two apparently naked black men embracing. I read on. The author observes, "I'm getting a bit tired of, 'Oh yeah, suck my big black dick,' 'Oh yeah, I love that big black cock'" lines. The writer continues, "Can't it just be, 'Suck my dick'? Even the title of the film shows that black men are still a 'fetish' in the porn world." That critique piqued my interest and got me thinking about the ways in which black men are represented in other ways in gay culture.
Blacks Overrepresented Among Sex Parties
Perhaps more fascinating than the way that gay culture represents black men is the way that black gay men depict themselves. Just four pages later in the magazine, I started looking through the list of "Private Clubs" (p. 78) and made another discovery. Of the 72 "private clubs" and sex parties listed, at least 20 of them clearly appeared to be targeted toward black men. In other words, 28 percent of the sex parties listed catered toward black men, and this was the case in a publication whose target audience is stereotypically assumed to be white gay men in Chelsea.
In a city where blacks make up 24.5 percent of the population, if we account for 28 percent of the advertised gay sex parties, that means we are actually slightly overrepresented in the number of gay sex parties available to us. And since most of the black sex parties are presumably organized by other black men, it's not something we can attribute to other communities.
Even among the black sex parties, the audiences were often very specific in the advertisements. One group called "40-Plus" was advertised toward "in-shape black and Latino men 40+ who appreciate a safe, clean, smoke-free environment." Another event advertised to get "young black and Latino brothers 18-35" for "underwear and butt-naked parties." One party billed itself as "Da Spot 4 Da Hood Katz" while another party, called OG'Z, described its parties as "private upscale events for fit mature brothaz." Notice how many different ways the word "brother" is spelled in the advertisements. There was even an all-inclusive party for "thick brothaz" where food and drinks were included.
The parties also seemed to cross the geographical reach of the city, spanning from Brooklyn to Harlem to the Bronx. There was a party for men of color who live uptown, a "fuck party" for "in-shape thugs-on-tha-low" in Brooklyn, and several parties for Harlemites, including "Harlem Knights" for 18-35 year-olds and "Harlem World" for 18-39 year-olds.
Raw Sex Parties Not the Norm
The existence of black gay sex parties will come as no surprise to most black gay men in urban settings. I see these advertisements every week in the gay party magazines. But I had never analyzed them in terms of numbers and content. When I did, I was actually pleased to discover that "raw sex parties" seemed to be rare to nonexistent among the advertisements. Despite the recent controversy over an unsafe sex party in Harlem, many of the black sex parties advertised in HX made a point of talking about condoms and safe sex.
One party promoter even provides a special health warning on his explicit web site. The warning says "It is really important for me to let you all know that I'm not just all about promoting my sex parties. I want you to know that I am very concerned about the health of men in our community. I hope that you all will use condoms when you are here at my parties, when you are at home in your own bedroom or any place else that you might get your freak on. I continuously work with the health department in trying to find ways to keep you guys safe and informed." On the same page with a series of animated sex scenes [Warning: very explicit content], the site includes links to the health department to get information on HIV testing and other free services.
It's not surprising to imagine raw sex parties taking place when you realize the diversity of black private sex clubs already available. I found a sex party for almost any group of black gay or bisexual men you could imagine. There was a "Zodiac Freakfest" for black, Rican and Dominican bruthas, a "Black Muscle Club" for "admirers of serious muscle," a "Hoodlums" party with a "very selective door" and a "Hip-Hop Flava" party for 18-30 year olds.
Like it or not, sex parties have become a big part of the culture for many black gay and bisexual men. Some even use Yahoo groups to cultivate their membership. Let me be clear. I say this not to criticize the culture of black sex parties, but rather to get us to think about the proliferation of these events and what, if anything, they mean about our community. Sex parties are not some new phenomenon. They've been going on for years. And it's not just black gay men who are participating in them. Most of the parties advertised were still targeted toward white men. And that's to say nothing of the straight sex parties that take place in that community as well.
I don't believe in shutting down these events. People are going to have sex, whether we like it or not. Sex between consenting adults is a healthy form of human expression. Maybe we need more outlets for black gay men to meet in non sexual settings. Maybe we need more safe sex education at the sex parties that already go on. Whatever we do, as we educate our community about "safe sex" we have to be careful not to communicate the message that sex itself is bad.
The Rise of Black Gay Sex Parties